"Rule Number One: Obey ALL Rules" - Barney Fife

Welcome to Mayberry! Er, Helena, AL.

There are some stark differences between Alabama and Florida, that is for sure! The small town police actually enforce speed limits - say what?!

In Florida, you can literally be doing 100 mph on I-95 and the cops won't even glance at you. The only rule they staunchly enforce is single occupants in the HOV lane during rush hour. That seems to be the real danger in South Florida, not the actual speed you are traveling or the red lights that are ignored.

Omar and I are both rule follower type people - to the semi-extreme. Myself more than Omar, but he is definitely the more cautious driver of the two of us. I don't think he has ever, and I mean ever, had an actual speeding ticket. A couple of weeks ago he was rushing home to meet the cable guys at the house who showed up unexpectedly (by rushing, I mean driving the posted speed limit). He pulled into the driveway and got out to greet the cable guys as a Helena PD car wheels into our driveway with lights a-blaze. You can imagine the baffled look on Omar's face as Barney Fife tells him to get back in the car. "Um, but I live here?" he says. Doesn't matter, rules is rules. Omar (of course) complies while the officer proceeds to write him a ticket in the driveway. Apparently the speed limit drops from 50 to 40 just before our house - like just. before. our. house. Omar was caught going, you guessed it, 53 miles per hour.

And the consolation prize for the new to the neighborhood, rule following, never ticketed Omar? A speeding ticket. In the driveway. Really Helena? Welcome to the neighborhood, indeed.