Living in the Moment

What's it been? 3 months? 4? Once again, I have become wrapped up in the business of day to day life, with little time for much else. I told O that I believe this is really, truly the first time in my 34 years here on Earth where I have existed solely in the moment. I do not think about past occurrences or about what may happen in the future (mostly). I have been living each moment as it comes, for what it is, with little thought of much else. This obviously has it's pros and cons and, for me at least, originated out of a survival mode as I became entrenched in my new job.

In the beginning there were days (or months?) where the overriding emotion in my life was overwhelmed. It is never easy to start anew, but I had an exceptionally difficult time adapting to my new environment. The only way to "survive" was to enter this short scenario frame of mind where I took my focus from the big picture into the focus of making it through each second, each hour, each day, each week. And somehow, nearly 1 year later, I write to you from a place of contentment and peace, albeit still insanely busy.

The journey of this job has been both a personal and professional growth experience fraught with landmines, "secrets and surprises" (as my friend Gary says), and - gasp - even joys.  This is not to say that every aspect of my job has become simple. It hasn't. It won't. But overall, I am finding that all of the things I was seeking in a new job seem to be coming together over here. Co-worker friends (I am no longer on an island), Less Travel/Routine (well, maybe not that - but at least I am not driving everywhere?), Less Boredom/Challenge (Um, ya think?), A Company that Cares (great bonus, great 401K, great boss - check), Expanded Skill Set (150,000%), New Opportunities (Working at Lloyd's of London anyone?). You see where I am going. Once I stopped dwelling on all of the things that weren't working for me, I started to realize the benefits I was receiving. I had a really honest conversation with my boss back in December, which also helped me get to this place. He said some great things in that conversation but the two that stuck with me were:
  • You need to relax and stop trying to be perfect, you're doing fine
  • I hired you because you said you were comfortable with being uncomfortable (I did??) and because you were the best person for the job - you still are.
Anyone who knows me will tell you that when I say I am done with something, my mind is made up. I am done. No changing it. It has taken some time to get here, but I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks.

Even cooler? Being featured by College of Charleston Alumni Association. Read Here.

*Amazingly enough, I actually started this post not even knowing what I was going to write about. #deepthoughts

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